Gabrielle's Journal Series:  Wish Upon A Star by Murphy

Disclaimer:  My story. You know who Xena and Gabrielle belong to. 

Violence/Sex/Subext Warnings:  No violence, no sex, still Alt. This is a mushy story! I was in the mood! 

Thanks:  Thank you to Becky Lovall, Sam Ruskin and LJ Maas, my betas. Thank you to WomynBard (Carole Giorgio) for the child's prayer. Deb, Love Ya! (Star wish. Do not know who made that) I dedicate this to all the sickly, scared, lonely, people who are just in pain. Keep fighting; it will be worth it in the end! Thank you for the ex-Guards list! You all are wonderful!

Journal Entry: 

Hello. Remember me, Gabrielle? I know I haven’t written to you for while now. The latest battle that Xena and I were fighting in has kept me very busy. The battle, the wounded, so much loss. Thank the Gods it is now over.

After the encounter, Xena and I helped the wounded, buried the dead, and got the people to where they can start rebuilding their homes and lives. I was able to take care of my wife, my warrior. After several candlemarks, I was able to stitch her up, clean, and feed her. Morpheus claimed her fast; she was so exhausted.

I tended to my own needs, but with a heavy heart, so that I cannot rest. My mind is in turmoil. Therefore, I sit here on the grassy slope, looking over a beautifully lit moon, shining brightly on the lake, and cry.

I cry for the children who lost their parents to war. I think the worst crime anyone can commit is to take innocence away from a child. When did we, as adults, lose that innocence?  Why is it so much easier to pick up a sword and turn toward hatred and violence, than it is to love? For this, my heart is heavy.

If we as adults would stop for a minute and just watch how a child can spy out the rainbow. While we just focus on the rain.

I saw the most wondrous thing tonight, something that gave me a measure of hope. While tending to my warriors wounds, I looked toward the sky and saw a shooting star. I remember the rhyme mother taught Lila and I when we were children.

Star light; star bright
First star I see tonight
I wish I may
I wish I might
Have this wish 
I wish tonight

As a child, I use to wish for a new toy. Now, my wish as an adult is peace and acceptance.

Let no one go homeless or hungry. Let every child feel loved. Let no one feel alone. My heart is heavy.

I have the love of my life, but because of ignorance, I cannot show how I feel unless we are in private. Our love is not accepted. Different is scary. It is hate and judgment that are approved of in our society.

My wish for the future is that people will learn to be more tolerant, that love will become the most important thing. Learn forgiveness. I hope that one day Xena can find that within herself.

I grew up in a family with a overbearing father and a timid mother. We, as daughters, were taught to be good girls and accept our fate. Dreaming was not allowed. I remember my prayer to Artemis.

Hello Artemis

My name is Gabrielle. I'm sure you know that; but you have so many people praying to you, I just want to make sure.   I know I'm not an Amazon and I know they are your chosen people, but I am a girl and I feel most comfortable talking to you.

I told my daddy the other day that I want to grow up to be a famous bard and go around the countryside making people smile with my gift of telling stories.  He laughed at me and told me girls just grow up to be mommies and wives.  He said dreaming was silly and stories were a waste of time.

If you could Artemis, would you ask Morpheus to send my daddy a dream? Perhaps he could send him the kind of a dream that would make him happy and proud to have a bard in his family. I would really appreciate it and will try my best to make you proud of me when I grow up.  I promise to write a very good story about you, and I might even try to be like one of your Amazons, as long as I can be the storyteller Amazon.

Thank you Artemis

My wish, if I have a daughter, is that she is always aware that she is special, and she can be anything she wants. I would want her to know that she does count, that her dreams do matter; she matters. I want to teach her to keep her head high and be proud, to listen and respect her elders, for they are the greatest resource we have.

If I have a son, I want him to be strong, but to show respect. To use his real mind, not the one between his legs. I want him to know that you can be strong, even if you cry.

To watch man destroy the land, hunt animals for fun instead of necessity, just spend their lives taking...my heart is heavy.

They never seem to look into the animals’ eyes before the kill. They never see past the target and see the animal’s child in hiding, now lost, with no parent to care for it.

Why are we so fast to take, and not so willing to give? The land is a beautiful gift of the Gods, but we do not bother to look anymore. We just take what we have, for granted, never saying, thank you. We are so trapped in the darkness; we forget there is always a light.

My wish is, for one day, that we all stop taking things lightly, that we all say, thank you. Here are some of my thanks.

Thank you for life. While sometimes it can be hard, the rest is a joy.
Thank you for my family. 
Thank you for air and the beauty of the earth.
Thank you for love. I was lucky to find her.
Thank you for the gift of words.

There are so many. I am going to take time out each night and say thanks. The thing I am most thankful for is the day a tall, dark warrior came into my life.

My wish is for all adults to take time out and simply be a kid. Just stop and play, laugh and dream. Unbelievably, Xena can be a cute; six-foot kid, when she wants to be, which usually means I wind up in a lake or a water fight. I might act mad at the time, but wouldn’t change it for the entire world. Even when she has me flying parchment in the air, I would never tell her, but it is fun.

"Gabrielle?" asked a sleepy Xena. I look up from up my journal and smile.

"You all right"? Those sweet blue eyes look at me with concern, trying to get up.

"I am now, don't get up." I give her a smile.

"Are you coming to bed?" Asked one sleepy warrior.

"I will be there in a minute. I am almost finished, love."

My heart is not nearly as heavy now. I watch as she lies back down.

Where was I? Oh yeah. My final wish for the day, is that people will not turn toward violence so fast.  Let love and peace fill our lives. May the hurtful words that are used to destroy such peace, be replaced with kind, and gentle ones, to uplift the tired souls. Take a minute or two to find something positive. I know these wishes are simple, but it cannot hurt to want them.

Until tomorrow,

Gabrielle.

Love the earth and sun and animals,
Despise riches, give alms to everyone that asks,
Stand up for the stupid and crazy,
Devote your income and labor to others...
And your very flesh shall be a great poem.

Read Journal Entry #2 "Loving My Warrior"