Misunderstood.
Language
warning: Well I have been known, so
absolutely yes.
Love and sex
warning: That also, and it’s between
two women as well. You have been
warned!
Angst
warning: Hurt
comfort etc.
Violence
Warning: Oh yes, most definitely
though not gratuitous. Just for a sense of justice you understand, oh that and
my way for certain characters to get their just deserts. There may also be a mention of sexual
violence as well.
Thanks:
I would like to
thank two new friends: my beater reader Regina, for your work on correcting my
mistakes and advising me with the tweaks.
And my Aussie mate Tammy, for helping me and giving your honest
opinions. You both gave me the
confidence to continue with this.
And finally to everyone who
read my last story Four Mondays, your feedback was greatly
appreciated
Let me know what you
think,
3
Sarah held her breath and
followed Charlie out of her room; it had been a long time since she had done
this. Holding onto the hand within
hers she stepped across the thresh hold and out into the corridor. Instantly her breathing escalated and
her heart pounded, she looked back into her room.
“Charlie, I can’t do
this.”
The
tall woman turned to the frightened blonde, “Yes you can Sarah, I know you can
you have to believe me. Just let
the feelings wash over you, feel the fear yet do it anyway. It is the only way to beat it, and I
will be with you the entire time.”
Sarah closed her eyes
feeling the tears come, taking a strained deep breath she started to walk
again. Every step felt like a
further mile away from the sanctuary of her room, yet she continued. I can do this; I can do
this.
She
looked around the corridor trying to find something to focus her mind on, in the
end it turned to the dark woman holding her hand. I’ve known her five days and look at
what she’s done to me, she thought stunned.
Nervous enough for the both
of them, Charlie gently led the young woman towards her office. She opened the door and walked
inside. Sarah followed wondering
where she was. Noticing the jacket
on the sofa she hazarded a guess.
“This is your
room?”
Picking up the plastic
shopping bag, and her jacket, Charlie turned around and smiled.
“Yep, I know it’s not very
comfortable looking but, well I have only just got it after
all.”
Sarah walked around the
room, “So you have got to fill it with your own personal knick knacks and bits
of junk?”
The
older woman laughed, “No it will probably be just a picture of my mum and I and
a little Zen garden, I tend to fiddle around with.”
“Oh.” Sarah answered and
filed away the little bit of information she was given.
She
stopped her perusal of the office when she reached the window and looked
out. The view was different to her
room, giving her a closer look at the city, though it was still
distant.
Charlie, sensing the
stillness of the room, looked to Sarah.
The girl seemed lost in her own thoughts. Cursing her own thoughtlessness, she
walked over to the blonde silently.
“Sarah if this is too much
for you today I understand. You’ve
had quite and emotional morning, if you want to wait until next week I will
understand.”
The
young woman turned to Charlie, “No I am ready, I have spent years trying to put
this off, besides I feel kind of freed, and you know the proverbial weight off
the shoulders quote.”
The
older woman still noticed the glistening of unshed tears in the younger ones
eyes.
“Well if you are
sure?”
“As
long as you will be with me, I know I can do this.”
Charlie felt warmth inside
at the trust so obviously placed in her by the girl. Reaching out she placed a hand on a
surprisingly muscular arm and rubbed it gently.
“Ready
then?”
Sarah nodded, she looked
down at the bag in Charlie’s other hand, “Can I ask what’s in the
bag?”
Charlie winked, “Ah, you
will have to wait and see.”
Sarah arched her eyebrows
and let a tiny smile grace her lips.
The taller woman watched the blonds features change, as her eyes slightly
glistened and came alive with wonder.
She decided she would happily dedicate all her life to seeing that smile
grow bigger, if she was the cause.
“Ready?” she
asked.
Sarah nodded, and cautiously
moved to re-grasp the older woman hand.
Charlie smiled inside and took the offered appendage willingly and
together they walked out the office.
They took a small hallway
that led off to the right at the end of the corridor. Sarah desperately trying to calm her
nervously beating heart, took constant deep breaths. Charlie had never actually been to this
part of the building before and was just guessing which way to go. They followed the narrow hallway to its
end; there they found a dark brown door.
Charlie swiped her ID card through the lock and the door clicked
open.
“Well surprise, surprise.”
She stated in wonder.
“Where are we going?” The
blonde whispered.
Charlie winked, “Wait and
see, I am a little unsure my self, I have never been in this part of the
building. I am new here myself
remember.”
“Not that I want to keep
questioning you, but how do you know where you are going
then?”
Charlie pushed the door open, “Trust me…I have many skills,” she replied with a mischievous grin, earning an eye roll and a smirk from the blonde.
The
contrast on the other side of the door was huge. Before them they found a narrow winding
staircase. It was grey stone as
were the walls, so unlike the bleached whiteness of the main hospital. The temperature change was noticeable
too, as a cold blanket of air swept over them. Sarah visibly shivered and the dark
woman released the jacket from under her arm, pulling it around the girl’s
shoulders. The protest the young
woman was about to make, died on her lips due to the no nonsense look on the
taller woman’s face.
“You still
ok?”
Sarah nodded, “I’m feeling
alright…well a little nervous…alright a lot nervous, but I will be fine just
let’s not stop now.”
“Well assuming that I am on
the right path…follow me.”
Charlie took the lead and
began a slow trek up the steps. She
had never actually gone up a spiral staircase before. Behind her Sarah was enjoying
it.
“I
love these types of stairs, when I was younger my mum and dad took me to Warwick
Castle. There are loads of spiral
staircases there, and once you get on them you can’t turn back, because there
are lots of people behind you. My
mum hated it though, she felt a little claustrophobic and she wasn’t too pleased
when she found out you had to go up and down a couple of these things just to
get out.”
Sarah smiled in the to
herself thinking about her parents.
“She wouldn’t go down the dungeons either, my dad had to take me. It was really spooky down there, so I
didn’t blame her.”
“I’ve never been there.” The
woman in front stated.
“Oh
I will have to take you some time.” The young woman joked.
Charlie looked around as she
continued up the steps, “Ok, it’s a date.”
Once the word passed from
her lips, the older woman flinched.
She hadn’t meant to say that, but she was sure the implications of her
words meant more to her than they did to the younger woman. She chastised herself for her
unprofessional thoughts.
I have got to stop this, how
am I supposed to help her when I am attracted to her…hold on did I just say
that…oh god it’s true I am attracted to her. What the hell am I supposed to do
now?
She
was interrupted from her thoughts as she realised they had come to the top of
the stairs. Another door stood on
the very last step, but this one didn’t hold a mechanical lock. With a sense of wonder she tried the
handle and to her surprise, it opened.
Looking back at Sarah in astonishment, she walked through the door, the
younger woman closely behind.
They entered a small tower
room at the top of the building. It
was round and about seven foot wide in circumference. Charlie realised there must be other
staircases leading up to the rest of the towers in other areas of the third
floor.
There were two windows, both
stained glass and held pictures of what Sarah thought looked like religious
icons. The air was cold and damp
and the tiny room was laden with dusty cobwebs.
Sarah shivered, feeling the
need to tie her hair back, in order to make sure no unwanted eight legged
creatures, made their way into her locks.
Charlie realised the room
was completely empty, except for a small door that she noticed lead to the
rooftop. She looked over at Sarah,
who was busy running her hand though her hair to make sure there were no
unwelcome visitors.
“You ready to go
out?”
Sarah frowned,
“Where?”
“There.” Sarah looked to
where Charlie was pointing though a clear part of the multicoloured window. She could see a wide space of surface
area in which to walk upon. She
looked back a Charlie nervously.
“Think of it as your first
step into the outside world without having to leave the building. How long has it been since you last went
outside?”
Sarah looked down at her
feet, “Since that night.”
“Sarah if you are not ready
to do this I will understand, but I want you to know it will just be you and me
up here.”
The
young woman could feel her body begin to tremble. Her breathing increase and her throat
constrict. Tears threatened to
overwhelm her, but she was adamant they would not fall any more today. Repeatedly clenching and unclenching her
fists, she looked to Charlie.
“I’m afraid, I won’t be able
to do it. What if I never do it and
I spend the rest of my life in here?”
A
tear managed to work its was down her cheek and she wiped it away angrily.
Charlie walked up to the
girl and took her face in both hands.
“You will be able to do it,
I believe in you. I will be here
with you the entire time…right here…always.”
The
last whispered word felt like home to the young woman who stood looking into the
clearest blue eyes she had ever seen.
They stood looking at each other, unwilling to break the contact they
both secretly relished.
Charlie’s heartbeat
increased as she luxuriated in the soft skin beneath her palms. Something inside both women seemed to be
searching the others eyes, and the green eyes found what they were looking
for.
Charlie felt a pull as she
took in the welcoming sight of the heart shaped lips in front of her. She was so close, all she had to do was
lean forward and,
“NO!”
Sarah jerked as Charlie
pulled back and away from the girl.
The older woman could not believe she was just about to kiss her. Anger and self-hatred ensued and she
looked away from Sarah disgusted with her self.
“We
should get back, I have things to do.” The nurse stated
angrily.
Walking back towards the
door, Sarah could do nothing but follow, as the woman began to make her way back
down the spiral staircase. Once
they were at the bottom, Charlie activated the lock and they walked thought the
door and into the hallway.
The
young woman walked aimlessly behind, holding back her emotions as the now stoic
nurse walked though the corridors back to Sarah’s room.
Once there she opened the
door and Sarah walked quietly inside. Knowing she couldn’t leave like this
Charlie thought of something to say, but her mind came up blank. She had never been good with words and
now they eluded her more than ever, still she had to say something,
anything,
“I
am sorry…I…”
The
look of revulsion on the younger woman’s face told her all she needed to know;
never realising that Sarah was thinking the exact same thoughts as her.
Oh god now what do I say,
look at her she hates the sight of me; she probably thinks I am sick. She had to have known what I wanted to
do.
Charlie put her hand on the door, trying to think of some way to ease the situation.
“I
will see you on Monday…ok?”
She
could see Sarah’s bottom lip tremble and couldn’t take it any more. With one final look she closed the door
behind her and walked away.
*******
Charlie had left the hospital in a haze,
and spent the rest of the weekend wondering what she had done. She had almost kissed Sarah; almost, at
least she hadn’t gone and actually done it. She lay in her bed for hours on end,
wondering whether she had irrevocably ruined her chances of helping the young
woman who had begun to trust her.
Damn it, she was the first
person that Sarah had ever opened up to and this was how she had
acted.
I’ve ruined it, whatever faith she has in me has gone. After all she went through telling me about her past, this is how I repay her trust.
Charlie lay in her bed,
feeling like the lowest person in the world,
How can she ever trust me
now? How am I ever going to face her?
She
was startled out of her self-loathing by the ringing of her phone. It took her a while before she decided
to answer it, and being as though the caller hadn’t given up, there was only one
person it could be.
She
picked up the receiver.
“Hello
mother.”
“Alright dear, what’s
wrong?”
Charlie sighed, “Mother how
do you know something is wrong?”
Cecilia chuckled, “Because
little one, the only time you don’t dive to answer the phone in three seconds
flat is when you are upset, or angry.
So which is it? You know you
can tell me anything, sweet.”
Cecilia waited knowing her
daughter would open up to her. They
had always had a close relationship, well apart from the time she went through
her rebellious teenage period. With
only the two of them living together while Charlie grew up, they had become
incredibly close. Cecilia’s husband
had left before Charlie was born, but they managed just fine alone, and would
not have wanted it any other way.
Charlie rolled onto her
back, holding the phone with one hand and covering her face with the other. She didn’t feel ready for this, but knew
her mother wouldn’t stop until she knew what was wrong with her
daughter.
“It’s nothing really mother,
I’ve just jeopardised a relationship with my patient and probably my career
also.”
“Oh
sweet heart what happened?”
Charlie forced air through
her lips, “I really don’t want to talk about it now mother, and I’m a little
tired.”
Cecilia clicked her tongue,
“Look I know you Charlene, and you are probably lying in bed right now thinking
that the world is about to end.”
Charlie scowled at the
phone, “Am not!” she quickly got off her bed and sat on the
floor.
“Ok, then you have just
dived off your bed, and are probably sitting on the floor now making faces down
the phone.”
The
tall woman shook her head and grinned despite her self.
“Tell me what has bothered
you so and maybe I can help you.”
Charlie sighed, “I…I have
fallen for a patient.”
Silence.
“I
almost kissed her yesterday and now I don’t know what to
do.”
There was still
silence.
“Mother please say
something.
“Tell me about her case,
sweetheart.”
Charlie began relating the
story of how she had met Sarah and gave her a slight background into her
case. She explained how she thought
the young woman was merely misunderstood and a victim of her own fear. Cecilia listened carefully to everything
her daughter had to say. The utter
feeling of worthlessness came through in her voice.
“And that was yesterday,
when you almost kissed her?”
Charlie nodded her head
before realising she could not be seen, so answered yes.
“And what makes you think
you have jeopardised your medical relationship and job?”
“Because, she probably feels as though I abused her trust.”
“Did
you?”
“Abuse her
trust?”
“No, mother I can’t
believe you would ask me that. From
the moment I saw her I felt something deep inside. It was like I had looked into my future
and saw her face. I hate to think
of her locked away in that place.”
Cecilia smiled down the
phone, “And how does she feel, sweetheart.”
The
dark woman hung her head in defeat, “She won’t feel anything for me; she has way
too much on her own plate to contend with.
But I don’t care about my feelings, I want to get her out of there, I
just wish I didn’t almost do, what I almost did.”
“Look sweet heart, remember
it was in your mind you wanted to kiss her, you never told her. Your main problem is how you are going
to explain your sudden departure.
Because, unless she is a mind reader, she is probably feeling more hurt
due to your sudden exodus than anything else.”
“Thanks
mum.”
“Was that a sarcastic tone
in your voice?” Cecile chuckled, “Listen little one, you have just got to go
back and try again. If you need to
rebuild her trust again then do it, you obviously think she is worth it. Don’t give in; remember you must
practice what you preach. And when
she is out of that place you can tell her I would like very much to meet
her.”
Charlie smiled, “Ok mum, I
love you.”
“Love you too sweet, see you
soon.”
Charlie hung up the phone,
feeling a little better.
*******
Sarah sat staring at yet another plate
of food she didn’t want to eat. Her
appetite had left her and she hadn’t eaten a single thing since Saturday
morning. Every time her plate was
collected the nurse would give her a worried look and she would explain that she
was feeling a little under the weather and wasn’t very hungry. Luckily three different nurses had
delivered her four meals, so she managed to get away with it, without being sent
to the doctor.
Sitting wrapped in the
jacket Charlie had left with her once again, she clung to the feeling of
awareness. It comforted her
every time she caught scent of the leather; it seemed so right for the woman to
smell like that.
Putting her untouched plate
on the side, she laid her back against the bed. Sarah was sure she would never see the
woman again, and was just waiting for the moment a nurse would come and collect
the jacket, telling her she was to get yet another psychologist.
How could I have been so
stupid and
allow myself to feel for her?
Yet
she knew she felt powerless to stop it.
From the first moment she had looked up into those clear blue eyes, she
felt complete. Rolling over onto
her stomach she buried her head into the pillow and sighed. She knew she should be feeling so proud
of herself for what she had accomplished yesterday, but could not. The happiness was not there, and she
knew only one person could bring it to her.
Maybe I will never know how
it feels. She must really hate me;
I could see it in her eyes. They
were cold and full of loathing; all she did was try to help me for Gods
sake.
Rising up suddenly, she
pulled the leather from her body and slung it into the corner of the room.
“I
hate you for making me feel like this.” She spat.
*******
If it were at all possible for Charlie
to be anymore nervous than she already was, she knew it would soon come. She had woken up Monday morning feeling
great for all of one second. Then
as her memory kicked in and she remembered the recent happenings she began to
feel her stomach flutter, and not in the good way.
Talking to her mother always
helped, even though she didn’t always like the outcome. She was supposed to see Sarah in the
afternoon and hoped the time arrived as slowly as possible. The confused woman still had no idea
what to say and had tried rehearsing speeches in her mind, but to no avail.
Standing by the doors to the
elevator, she hoped it would take forever to arrive.
“Why such a long
face?”
Charlie turned to see a
joyful looking Betty.
“Hey B, nothing just didn't
have such a good weekend is all.”
“Oh
dear, why what happened?”
The
younger woman shrugged her shoulders, “Oh not a lot
really.”
“I
see you are more a woman of action, well you’re back on the thirds today, you
can certainly get action there.”
“Oh
I’m sure this will be a day to remember.” She stated.
Just then the elevator
arrived, they both got in and Betty tried to lighten the mood a little with a
story about her weekend at the local health spar. She was glad that she managed to get at
least a tiny grin out of the depressed looking woman.
*******
Clinton sat in the file room going over
the reports from the other nurses who worked the weekend. He was reading up on how each patient on
the third had been when something caught his eye. He scanned back to something he had read
a moment ago, then further along the reports of the rest of the weekend.
“Sarah Austin hasn’t been
eating? That’s strange the girl
lives for her meal times.”
He
pushed his large hands through his blond hair and leaned back in his chair.
Looks like I am going to
have to talk to Charlie about this.
*******
The only way Charlie had managed to get
through meetings with other patients was to clear her mind of anything
else. Because of this she forgotten
she was supposed to meet Betty for lunch, and had to apologise three times
before she was forgiven.
The
woman understood anyway, but admitted that she had enjoyed watching the tall
nurse squirm. It was the first time
she had been able to make Charlie chuckle that day.
When the nurse had finally
made her way back to the third, Clinton was waiting for her by her
door.
“Clinton what can I do for
you?”
The
blonde nurse noted the miserable expression on the dark woman’s face and
realised it was very similar to one he had seen it on somebody else
earlier.
“Can I talk to you for a
moment?”
Charlie opened her door and
they walked inside, she wondered what he wanted her for, he seemed a little
concerned.
“I
want to talk to you about Sarah Austin.”
Upon hearing the girls’
name, Charlie felt a heavy weight in her chest and her stomach churn.
“Wha…” she cleared her
throat, “What’s wrong.” She asked
trying to maintain a neutral expression.
Clinton however noticed,
“She hasn’t been eating over the weekend.
I went in to see her and take her lunch, but when I returned she hadn’t
eaten that either. I am a little
worried, she has never missed a meal before, and the girl loves to
eat.”
Charlie felt guilt wash over
her, believing she was the cause of Sarah’s lack of desire to eat.
She must hate me; she
probably feels I tried to take advantage of her like that bastard four years
ago. Fuck how am I supposed to face
her now?
Clinton waited for Charlie’s
response, “Are you going to see her?” He asked a little concerned by the way the
psychologist was acting herself.
“Oh
sure, she is next for me to see today anyway.”
The
blonde nurse nodded his head and left, the other not even realising that he had
gone.
I haven’t even thought about
what I am going to say, nothing seems appropriate.
She
took a deep breath, what do I have to loose?
She
headed out of her office, “Everything.”
*******
Listening closely, there wasn’t a sound coming from the other side of the door. Hesitantly she knocked, but still nothing.
Dare I just walk in?
She knocked again and after waiting for thirty seconds with still no word, she let herself into Sarah’s room.
It was dull, as both curtains were fully closed. She could make out Sarah’s figure on bed lying on her back, but she couldn’t tell whether the girl was awake or not.
Anxiously she slowly walked over to her. She could hear deep breathing and knew the young woman was sleeping. Charlie debated whether or not to leave, but she felt she had gone this far; she might as well stay. Still she had to decide whether she should wake her and if so how.
The dark woman couldn’t help but get drawn to the complete look of peaceful innocence on Sarah’s face. She had to admit it even if it was to herself; the young woman was beautiful. Even though it was pretty dull in the room, to Charlie her hair shone with golden purity. She felt drawn and soon found herself sitting on the edge of the bed beside the vision before her.
Even if she wanted to, she could not pull away. The petite blonde lured her and she felt powerless to resist, like this was where she was supposed to be, by this innocent beauty’s side.
Taking a deep breath to calm her pounding heart, she traced long fingers once again over the softest skin and sweetest lips. Her heart ached for the touch, and without it she would surely perish.
Sarah was pulled to a semi conscious state by the feeling of intense warmth within her. She could feel her face being stroked, then the touch was gone, but a moment later it appeared again, only this time on the hand she had resting on her stomach. She basked in the contact, feeling safe and secure.
Charlie let her fingers roam over the small appendage, noticing for the first time a small ring on the pinkie finger of her left hand. Looking up to Sarah’s face once again, she waited for her eyes to focus in the dullness.
Suddenly her breath hitched.
Two green eyes were watching her closely.
She attempted to pull away her hand, but two smaller ones caught it. Charlie looked at her hand then back at the girl holding it. A thousand thoughts swirled around in her mind, but she couldn’t seem to speak. Insistent green eyes continued to look into her, and the terrified woman suddenly calmed.
“I’m sorry Sarah.”
“For?” The confused young woman asked, looking straight at Charlie.
“For…for running out on you the way I did, I realise how it must have looked and I am sorry. It was all my fault and I can understand if you want to change therapists.”
“Why would I want to change therapists?”
Charlie looked a little confused, “Sarah, I…what I did…it was so wrong…I”
She looked closely at the girl, “Even though it is dark, that isn’t the look of hatred that I was expecting to see.”
Sarah lowered her eyes, “I thought you hated me Charlie.”
The older woman closed her eyes wondering how Sarah had come to think such a thing.
She looked earnestly at the young blond, “Sarah look at me,” she waited till the green eyes were back on her, “Just so you know, I could never hate you, ever.”
She could see a single tear fall from the girl’s eye. Using her other hand she wiped it away.
“Sarah I think I…” she paused knowing she was about to cross a very dangerous boundary.
“What?” the young woman whispered.
“I…my…the feeling I have…for you…are more...” She finished
“More?”
Charlie sighed, this is so difficult and I know I should
not be doing this but I have to tell her,
“More than a friend should feel for another friend.”
Please understand.
Sarah felt her heart burst with joy, never would she have dared to dream that the beautiful woman sitting beside her, would be saying these words.
Charlie tensed wondering whether she had just ruined everything. She watched a slow smile emerge on Sarah’s face, and a glimmer of hope sparked inside her.
“I feel it too.”
Charlie gulped audibly, “Say that again?”
Sarah squeezed the hand in hers, “I said I feel it too, I know what you are risking telling me this, but I do feel the same way.”
Charlie let the smile grace her lips as she listened to the words she wanted to hear. Then her smile left, to be replaced with a frown.
“Sarah, you know we can’t do anything about this, not while you are here. We would be breaking a million and one rules, and although I would happily risk my job for you, I don’t want to jeopardise…”
Sarah interrupted the older woman, “I understand what you are saying Charlie, and I would never allow you to risk your job for me, ok.”
The older woman smiled sheepishly, “I don’t know where we go from here.”
Sarah released the woman’s hand, “Like we have been, you helping me to get out of this place, for now anyway.”
Charlie took in a deep breath and let it out; she took one last look at the young woman before rising to her feet.
“Right, I am going to get you some food, while you open these curtains and see just what a beautiful spring day it is out there.”
Sarah got off her bed. “Great, I’m suddenly starving.”
They looked at each other, both communicating a silent desire, before turning away to do as Charlie had decided.
*******
Clinton was walking down the corridor when Charlie exited Sarah’s room. The young man jogged over to her, noticing the now totally different look the woman held.
“How is she?” He asked.
Charlie grinned, “She is fine, she just had a few things worrying her, I am going to get some food down her now. She seems to have her appetite back”
Clinton nodded his head, “That’s great, I’m glad. I was worried about her.
When I went to see her earlier, she looked like she had just lost a puppy or something. Wouldn’t speak, just sat looking like the world was about to end. I hated seeing her like that, she has a lovely smile when she uses it”
Charlie nodded her head wondering how lovely he thought Sarah’s smile actually was.
“Well I better get to the kitchen and see what culinary delights they have on offer today.” She smiled and walked towards the security room, intent on using the elevator.
Clinton noticed the slight spring in her step and let his mind wander.
Charlie was back in five minutes with three dinners, one for her and two for the hungry blonde. They sat and ate together before the nurse had to see her next patient. The tall woman left with the promise that they would finish the journey they started Saturday morning.
That left Sarah with a nervous feeling in her stomach, one she knew would be there for the rest of the day.
*******
The only sound in the darkened office was a persistent ticking. Graham Adams looked at the clock wondering why had had agreed to put it in his room. It was dam annoying sometimes, and if it were not for that fact that his wife had brought it for him, he would have gotten rid of it months ago. Not that the clock managed to do its job. He was given it so he would return home at a respectable time, yet here he sat two hours late, and still in his office.
He leaned further over the file he was reading, taking in every single fact, right down to the punctuation and grammar.
Charlene Taylor was turning out to be an interesting read. Since meeting the woman he had tried to find out whatever he could about her. He had read the report made at the boards hearing; that one of the accusations risen apart from the original cheating was that she a promiscuous lesbian, seducing other female students to help her own career. She had denied that and he was glad, but not surprised. There was no way a beautiful woman like her, could be one of those sort.
Leaning back in his chair, he pulled out an attached photo of her. He couldn’t deny it; he wanted the woman. Married or not he was going to make sure he got what he wanted. All he had to do was wait.
Adams had heard Charlie had gotten a little attached to one of the patients, and if things worked out right, when Mark Stevens got his revenge on that certain person, she would need a shoulder to cry on. He definitely was getting more out of Mark’s offer than just the money. For that reason he was happy for the tall woman to believe she would be helping Sarah Austin, she would be out of the way soon enough. Then with the patients tragic, and sudden death, he would be there to offer a helping hand of emotional support.
Leaning back in his chair, he decided to make a call to one of his favourite patients.
*******
Angel sat on her bed, legs crossed and elbows resting on her knees. Her hands were on her face and she used her fingers to push the features around. Taking her index finger, she snapped her lip repeatedly, hearing the pop echo through the room.
Hearing the lock activate, she grinned, knowing only one person would visit her at this time of night.
“What gives me the pleasure of this visit?” She asked before the director even entered the room.
Adams walked in, shutting the door behind him.
“Wanted a chat, that’s all and you know how I love our little midnight tête-à-tête.”
Angel made a bored looking face.
“You bore me…go away. Say, is nursey here, I’m sure she could give me some ‘entertainment’”
Adams bristled, “No, she is not. So does this mean you don’t want to talk tonight?”
Angle rolled her eyes; “All you ever want to talk about is what I did to get me a first class room in The Bell Tower Hilton.”
“I find you interesting Angel.”
The young woman sighed dramatically, “Yeah, well like I said…you bore me so sod off.”
“Angel…”
“Ah, ah, ah…go on now, like the little worm you really are. I’m not in the mood tonight…headache you know…now go away.”
Adams shrugged, “Fine…see you tomorrow.”
“Can…not…wait. Bugger off, you are distracting me from my reminiscing.”
The director opened the door, and walked swiftly out of the room. She wanted him to leave…fine…but he would be back again tomorrow.
*******
Charlie had wanted to ring her mum that night. To tell her what had happened and ask for advice. She would have never imagined her feelings would be reciprocated, but it did leave her with something of a problem.
How were they supposed to interact with each other now?
Sarah had said they must go on as before, her helping the young woman out of Bell Tower, but obviously something had changed. Through the short time Charlie had known the girl, she had come to hold profound feelings for her, greater than she dared to admit even to herself.
Although her ethics and commonsense told her, she should not see the young woman as a patient, she knew it was a fruitless attempt. Sarah has somehow gotten in between her carefully constructed barriers and made her want again.
More than just want though, she had made her need the girl, and that was the worst part. How was she supposed to carry on, knowing all she wanted to do was take the girl in her arms and make her see just how much she was affecting her.
Charlie lay in her long, hot bath trying to put her feelings in order. One thing she knew for certain, she was not going to give the blonde up to another therapist. She would continue working with her, but she would have to keep tighter control on her feelings, and, more importantly, the expression of those feelings. That was going to be a hard one, but the last thing she wanted was for people to find out and accuse her of taking advantage.
Am I taking advantage? No she said she feels the same for me. What if she was just saying that to defuse the situation? No again… I saw it in her eyes. Those beautiful green eyes…
“Oh get a grip, Charlie.”
Sliding down the tub, she immersed her self fully in the water, allowing a little bubble to surface every so often. Eventually she resurfaced, pulling vast amounts of air back into her lungs.
“Sarah…damn it…I wish you were here now.”
*******
Sarah lay in bed, watching the darkness around her. Her room was peaceful, but not silent. She could hear talking from outside. Probably between two nurses and there was the distant sound of an awful shouting. She knew there were two prisoners on the third and had a feeling, that the woman shouting and occasionally screaming was one of them. The young blonde couldn’t hear what was said, but she felt pain in her voice.
The peacefulness of her room was suddenly shattered by the sound of the mechanical locking device activating. She was temporarily blinded when the light came on and she had to shield her eyes until they adjusted to the sudden brightness.
Once so, she removed her hand to see Director Adams standing about six foot from her bed.
“Hello Sarah.”
Her eyes nervously searched the room, hoping he wasn’t alone; no such luck.
“It is polite to speak when you are spoken to, little girl.”
She swallowed, “Mr Adams?”
“I hear you have been getting out a bit, you went for a walk on Saturday.”
Sarah nodded her head, “Yes.”
“And how do you feel?”
Her eyes scanned the small room again, “Good.”
“Well that’s all fine, but should a person like you be feeling like that?”
The blond woman looked at him confused.
“You are not a very nice person are you Sarah?”
“I don’t…”
“YOU are not a very nice person. Nice people don’t go around attacking innocent people with needles and permanently blinding them, do they?”
She felt her heart rate increase, “I didn’t…”
“You didn’t attack him, blind him for life? That is the reason people like you are in placed like this, so you don’t go hurting innocent people.”
Sarah didn’t want this, “But he was trying to…”
“Nothing…I don’t want to hear your lies, and I don’t want you telling them to anybody else either, understand?”
Sarah frowned unsure of what he meant; she was getting frightened.
“Don’t go spreading your lies with any of the other nurses. I have already told them all you are a liar and shouldn’t be trusted. And don’t you go trying to worm you way into Miss Taylor’s affections either. You leave her affections with me…understand?”
He walked over to her till his nose was a mere inch away from Sarah’s.
“Sorry I didn’t hear you, do…you…understand girl?”
She nodded her head hesitantly.
“Good, now if you will excuse me, I am sure Miss Taylor will be waiting for me by now. We have a long evening planned…goodnight.”
Spinning around on his heels, he turned out the light and left the room, silently closing the door behind him.
Sarah sat in bed, heart pounding, and chest moving
rapidly. Her head fell forward and
long golden hair slipped over her shoulders, tickling her face. Charlie and Mr Adams…has she lied to
me the whole time?
*******
Charlie rose from bed the next morning after a fitful sleep She hadn’t been able to rest, or calm her mind at all. She had been filled with tremendous anxiety all night; and not knowing the source, it troubled her deeply.
Realising it was still quite early; she decided a good long run was on the agenda. That was one of the good points about living by the countryside she decided…plenty of open space.
When she was younger, she had lived in the city and didn’t really care for the peace and tranquillity of pastoral England, now she loved it. The tall woman had developed a great appreciation for solitude and enjoyed the freedom it gave her.
By the time Charlie was ready for work, she was dressed in her favourite pair of black cargo trousers and top. She went into her study and picked up her brief case and backpack and got ready to leave the house. She realised once again that she hadn’t retrieved her jacket for the second time, so once more, left the house without the comfort of her leather.
*******
Still in the shorts and t-shirt she wore for bed, Sarah lay on top of the covers staring up at the ceiling. Both hands were under her head and her legs were crossed at the ankles. She didn’t move a muscle, didn’t want to.
The blonde hated the camera in her room just as much as the first time she had to use the toilet, with it there. She soon realised that its field of vision didn’t reach the whole room, missing out the window and the bathroom area; but just the same she hated it.
Right now she wanted to shout and scream in frustration. She wanted to pace the floor and throw something, but she couldn’t. Sarah knew that what ever Adam’s was up to, he was sure to be watching her, or getting one of his lackeys to keep an eye on her.
I don’t get it, what did I ever do to him? Bastard, I don’t know why he hates me so much. Why does he want me to think he and Charlie are involved, he knows that I trust her and he wants me to be angry at her for liking somebody like him, but why? What does he have planned?
*******
Adams stood in the security room, looking silently at the monitors. He had heard that Sarah Austin hadn’t made a sound all night, and still she just lay on her bed. This was not what he had planned; he wanted her to be angry. The director was counting on the girl to be incensed at the tall woman for dating him.
He was counting on her feeling as though she would no longer be able to trust the tall woman, and regret telling her whatever secret he was sure they had shared. He needed her to have an emotional episode, so that all his plans would fall into place.
The director was no fool; he knew the girl didn’t like him. Hell, he had made damn sure of that, and if she thought her new trusted friend was attached to him, all the better.
She had a temper on her, that he knew, but if he didn’t make her angry, he would have to rethink a few details and there really wasn’t much time for that. Mark Stevens was waiting and Graham Adams wanted his money.
Seeing the elevator doors open, he turned to see Charlie walking into the room. He didn’t like her state of dress at all, she looked far too scruffy, but he decided now was not the right time to bring it up.
The thin man smiled at the woman walking towards him,
“Good morning Miss Taylor, and how are you today?”
Charlie looked at the overly friendly man with veiled suspicion, he seemed too nice this morning.
“Tell me, how are things going with your patients? I heard you actually managed to speak to Jordan, and got Sarah Austin out of her room without medication.”
“Yes I am getting some positive responses from them.” She answered politely.
“Well that is excellent, I must say you have far exceeded my expectations. Actually I have a few ideas I would like to talk over with you on how to improve certain aspects of the patients’ progress. I was wondering whether you would be able to meet with me and discuss them?”
“Oh…sure…I am free just after lunch.”
Adams frowned, “No that is no good, I am very busy today, but I would like to discuss them with you A.S.A.P. How about after working hours?”
Charlie tried to think of an excuse, unfortunately she came up short, “Well I guess that would be ok, you just let me know when and where and I shall see whether that would be convenient.”
“No problem, I shall just go check on a few things and get back to you later, ok, and I sure hope it will be convenient I have though long and hard about these improvements.”
Charlie smiled politely and nodded her head, already turning away and swiping her ID card though the lock. She was granted instant access and disappeared through the door.
The director grinned, unseen in the security room; things appeared to be going his way. Still there was one thing left to do.
*******
Charlie had spent the first part of the morning with Clinton, though her thoughts were with a certain patient that she desperately wanted to see. Still she had to wait, the nurse couldn’t just start constantly going in there. She needed to restrain her desire to see the young woman.
The second part of her morning was spent with a patient that had just been admitted onto the third. Her name was Dora and she was a paranoid schizophrenic; Charlie saw a lot of hope in the woman.
After lunch the psychologist decided to go and see Sarah a little earlier, she reasoned that she had waited long enough.
Sarah had only just got dressed and stood by the window looking out over the countryside. It was a beautiful day made even more so by the light spring rain in the far distance that had created a rainbow in the sky.
She was jousted from her admiration by the door unlocking. Turning around she saw Charlie standing at the entrance. A smile formed on both of their lips and the desire to move into each other’s arms was written plainly on their faces. The older woman took a step in, but was halted by her name being called.
She turned to see Adams swiftly walking towards her. He stopped by the entrance to Sarah’s room and turned to the woman, ignoring the younger one completely.
“Is half seven ok for tonight?”
Charlie shrugged, “Sure. Where shall we meet?”
The director took a quick look at Sarah before continuing.
“There is a small pub about five minutes into the village…you have probably seen it on your way in. We can meet there, they do good food as well, I shall see you there ok.”
He turned and looked briefly again at Sarah, giving her a cold smile before turning and walking away.
Charlie shut the door behind him. I certainly wont be staying long enough to eat, she thought.
Behind her Sarah was in turmoil. Feelings of confusion, anger, hurt and disbelief flooded though her, and she felt herself falling to her usual motto:
‘When confronted with emotions get angry.’
Charlie turned around to see Sarah’s head bent, fists hanging by her side. Instinctively she moved beside the young woman, putting an arm around her in comfort. What ever had upset her, she would make the blonde feel better.
Sarah moved from her side, lashing out with her fist, knocking the arm away from her.
“Get your fucking hands of me.” She shouted.
The tall woman looked at her evenly, “What?”
“DON’T you ever touch me again.”
Charlie tried not to get angry at her sudden out burst, “What are you talking about?” she asked evenly.
Sarah moved away from her, anger clouding her senses.
“Don’t act innocent with me. I don’t know what you two are up to but it isn’t going to happen.”
Charlie’s eyes took on an incredibly icy look, but she still tried to remain calm. Something was amiss and she knew it.
“What do you mean ‘you two are up to’ who two Sarah?”
The young woman clenched and unclenched her fists, “You and Adams.” She spat, “Don’t think he didn’t tell me about the two of you. What do you think I was just something to use, or was I something for you both to amuse yourselves with. How could I have been so fucking stupid?”
Tell her about us, what us?
Charlie walked up to the young woman and grabbed her firmly by the arms. Sarah tried to struggle but to no avail. The older woman was incredibly strong, she could not move.
“LET ME GO.”
Charlie held on firm, waiting until the girl realised it was a futile attempt. Eventually she stopped struggling, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
“Sarah,” Charlie’s voice was deep and warm, “I don’t know what you are talking about, but look me in the eyes and tell me you truly believe what you are accusing me of.”
The young woman looked away, but her chin was pulled back, so she looked straight into the pale blue orbs. She looked and she looked, seeing more in those eyes than had ever been allowed to show before. The world seemed to evaporate into nothingness, leaving only the two of them, silently communicating that which words were failing to do. Charlie noticed the change in Sarah and confusion set into her grass green eyes.
“I don’t understand.” The young woman stated.
“Neither do I, but I think you can fill me in.”
Still feeling a little uncomfortable, she pulled her arms easily out of the tall woman’s grasp and took a step away from her. Charlie stood still, waiting patiently. This whole sudden outburst leaving her confused, angry and hurt by the way Sarah had reacted. She regarded the blonde girl closely; she sure seemed more troubled by whatever it was that was bothering her, than she would care to admit.
Well her actions had proved that.
“Speak to me sweetheart.”
Sarah looked up at the sudden endearment. Spurred on she spoke, “Mr Adams… he came in here last night, and said a few things.”
The woman felt a burning spark, “What things?” It was said through clenched teeth.
“He said that…well he said…I was erm…” The blond looked down, still confused as to what was going on. A movement caught her eye and she looked up to see Charlie walk towards the window. The tall woman jerked her head, looking at the girl informing her that she wanted her to follow. Taking a deep breath she obeyed, keeping her eyes trained on the floor.
Once they were out of the cameras view, Charlie cupped both her hands around the young woman’s face drawing her up so she could look into her eyes. She resisted what she wanted so badly, in order to speak.
“Do you want to get away from this room for a while?”
Sarah looked up, her face a mix of hope and trepidation.
“We can go up to the roof again, if you want to?”
Hesitantly she nodded her head. Charlie grinned and walked towards the door.
“Follow me.”
*******
Sarah found herself, once again in the small circular tower. She watched hesitantly as Charlie walked towards the door leading to the open roof.
“No, can we just stay in here for a while.”
The woman nodded her head, “Sure.” Still standing away from the girl she asked her once again to tell her what was going on.
Sarah sighed, “Last night Mr Adams came into my room. He said some really nasty things to me…”
“What things?”
“It doesn’t matter now, the thing is he made me believe that you thought I was a hateful liar and that you and him were…you know…together.”
“Are you sure?” she questioned.
“YES, I was there. He made arrangements with you to meet in front of me earlier. He is up to something, I tried not to believe him, but after I saw him with you I guess I kind of lost it.”
“Why would he say those things to you, Sarah?”
The young woman let out an exasperated sigh, “I don’t know, he wants to make me angry, he know my reaction to things is through violence. I know it shouldn’t be but I just get scared and lash out.”
Charlie turned around, looking through the stain glass window. She could just make out a distant rainbow, through a clear pain of glass. The woman was angry.
What the fuck is he playing at, why would he want her to lash out? If he is up to something I am going to find out.
Sarah looked at the stiff woman, staring out of the window. Her hands were clasped firmly behind her back, knuckles white with tension. She began to get the feeling that Mr Adams was right on one thing; Charlie did believe she was just a hateful liar.
Feeling her eyes sting with unshed tears, she hung her head, waiting for the inevitable.
Hearing the girls’ breath hitch behind her, Charlie turned around to look at the silent blonde, “Come here.” The request sounded neutral.
Without even bothering to look up the young woman edged her way towards the psychologist. When in reach, Charlie enfolded the girl in her arms and pulled her into a protective embrace. It felt so right, and Sarah could do nothing but respond, putting her arms around the woman and laying her head underneath a strong chin.
Charlie held on tight, trying to let the young woman understand just how much she meant to her. She was also beginning to realise just how much the girl had embedded herself into her own heart.
Feeling the body so close to her own, the tall woman could no longer resist the deep seated urge that had called to her from the day she had first looked into Sarah’s eyes.
Pulling away slightly, Charlie looked down to the blonde head resting against her chest. She ran her fingers through the soft honey blonde locks, causing the young woman to look up.
“You know Sarah, though everything tells me we shouldn’t do this, my heart aches for you. From the moment I saw you sitting in that room, I felt something stir within me.”
Sarah looked deep into Aegean blue eyes, hanging on to every word that passed from the woman’s lips.
Charlie placed a hand on an incredibly soft cheek, “Nobody will ever hurt you again.” She whispered.
Sarah closed her eyes, anticipating the feeling of Charlie’s lips upon her own. She wasn’t disappointed as an encompassing softness engulfed her.
Charlie let her lips linger briefly then pulled away, but they were captured again as Sarah moved forward. The second touch was stronger, sending shockwaves throughout both of their bodies. Sarah pulled back startled by the reaction. Although she had never really kissed anybody before, she would never have expected such an intense reaction.
Charlie was feeling similar emotions. Never had a kiss left her with such profound feelings and burning desire. Leaning forward once again, she placed her lips onto the waiting blondes. The gentle responding moan urged her on, as she traced her tongue over Sarah’s full lips.
The young woman hesitated only briefly before opening up to allow the older woman inside. Their tongues met sending a surging fire through out both of their bodies. Sarah pushed herself closer to the older woman, feeling the heat radiate in waves around them both. She had never expected to feel like this in her life, and although she had no experience in her actions, she moved purely by instinct.
Their kiss continuing, she moved her right hand down to the woman’s behind, lightly squeezing the firm flesh. Charlie finally released the moan that held back in her throat. She knew she had to stop. Electrifying warmth throughout her body was spreading south at the feeling of Sarah’s breasts firmly pressed just under her own. A gentle throb began, causing her to pull away.
She opened her eyes and looked at the green ones, finding only a hit of colour around the fully dilated pupils. Sarah’s skin was flushed a deep
pink and her breathing was ragged and shallow.
“We have to stop.”
Sarah ran her hand from the firm behind to just under Charlie breast. She could feel the rapid heart bear underneath.
“Do we?” I don’t want this to end; you make me feel things I never dreamed possible.
Charlie felt the magnetic pull, drawing her back down to waiting lips. They connected again, this time Sarah hesitantly pressing her tongue against swollen lips. She was instantly granted access.
The dark woman moaned long and deep, feeling the intense pulse creating fire through out her body. Bending slightly, she lifted the smaller woman off the ground and turned around depositing her on the window ledge.
Sarah instinctively wrapped her legs around Charlie, bringing them into intimate contact. The psychologist released Sarah’s lips and worked her own along the delicate jaw line, leaving a trail of moist, hot kisses in its wake. They started a slow grind as her lips found Sarah’s rapid pulse and sucked it gently, so not to leave a mark.
Suddenly realising why she shouldn’t leave a mark, Charlie pulled away.
Sarah’s legs fell away from her body as she took a step back.
“We…we have to stop this.”
Sarah closed her eyes feeling her body burn with waiting release. She was kind of unsure what she needed but knew only the tall, flushed woman in front of her could provide it. She opened her eyes, looking once again at Charlie.
“God…please don’t look at me like that. This is hard enough, without having to cope with the way you are looking at me.”
Sarah raised a coy eyebrow; “Hard?” her eyes travelled down to Charlie’s breasts, and more prominently the pert nipples standing out against the fabric of her black shirt.
Charlie looked down at herself, then at Sarah, who wore a tight red tank top. She made a show of looking at the young woman’s chest until she got the hint. The blonde looked down to see her own body in much the same state as the nurses. She smiled shyly, and a blush worked its way from her neck to her already flushed cheeks.
“We have to calm down, I want the first time I make love to you to be away from this place. In a soft clean bed, with everything you deserve.”
Sarah looked surprised into pale blue eyes, “Is that what you want?”
Charlie frowned.
“I mean to make love to me?”
Charlie beamed, “More than anything.”
Sarah smiled and Charlie realised it was the first real smile that had ever graced the girls lips. She noted the way her eyes sparkled and the ridges of her nose crinkled. At that moment she realised that her ambition in life was to make the beautiful woman before her, happy.
Moving forward she pulled Sarah from the window ledge and pushed her arms around her. The blonde smiled wrapping her arms around the dark woman firmly. They stayed like that for some time, basking in each other’s closeness until a thought occurred to the older woman.
“I have to find out what is going on Sarah. Tonight I will go and meet Adams and see if I can feel him out.”
Sarah’s head shot up, “Do you have to, I don’t trust him.”
Charlie ran a hand across the girls cheek, “Trust me, I will be fine. Something is going on I can feel it, if I am to find out what, I will need to get a little intimate with him.”
“Intimate!!!”
Charlie chuckled, “Not like that, I just mean I will have to get into his mind a bit, see if I can read between the lines.”
“Oh…well be careful.”
The nurse nodded her head in thought, “Could you do something though?”
“Sure.”
“When we get back down there, can you put on the attitude?”
Sarah looked confused, “Attitude?”
Charlie arched an expressive eyebrow, “Like you were acting after he left your room, you know all mean and moody. I have a theory that I would like you to help out with.”
“O…k…what is it?”
The dark woman smiled smugly, “Not telling yet, just trust me.”
*******
End of part 3
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