Misunderstood.

Part 2

 

BY

 

M.J

 

Disclaimer:  These characters may bare a resemblance to a certain duo (who don’t belong to me) that we all know and love, but that’s all.  This is an uber story and the characters are mine.

Language warning:  Well I have been known, so absolutely yes.   

Love and sex warning:  Hurt comfort etc.

Angst warning: This deals with issues that I myself have dealt with. There will be some hurt, comfort etc.

Violence Warning:  Oh yes, most definitely though not gratuitous. Just for a sense of justice you understand, oh that and my way for certain characters to get their just deserts.  There may also be a mention of sexual violence as well.          

Thanks: I would like to thank two new friends: my beater reader Regina, for your work on correcting my mistakes and advising me with the tweaks.  And my Aussie mate Tammy, for helping me and giving your honest opinions.  You both gave me the confidence to continue with this. 

And finally to everyone who read my last story Four Mondays, your feedback was greatly appreciated

 

Let me know what you think,

[email protected]

 

2

 

  Charlie rose from bed Thursday morning with a feeling of anticipation, so she was confused as to why she felt such high expectancies for the day.  It was still early and she hadn’t had a great night sleep, not that she slept more than five hours at a time anyway. 

 

Getting up, she pulled on her sweats and decided to go for half an hours jog before practicing her Kung Fu.  It was quite light out for so early in the morning, and she looked forward to watching the sunrise as she ran. 

 

Two hours later she was sitting in her living room, eating a bowl of Honey Pops and watching the TV.  Flicking aimlessly she tried to find something mildly entertaining, morning breakfast shows bombarded every channel.  Eventually she turned to a program that contained enough humour to keep her interested and sat back to watch.  This show made her laugh, but when she looked at the clock and realised the time, she was disappointed that she had to go and get ready for work. 

 

Back in her bedroom she pondered what to wear.  Yesterdays more casual dress seemed to go down well with the others, so she decided to keep it up.  Besides she hated having to wear uniforms, with a passion. 

 

Opening her wardrobe she pulled out a pair of black jeans, and red t-shirt, deciding they were to be her wears for the day.  Absentmindedly she wondered what Sarah would be wearing today.  After getting dressed and towel drying her wet hair, she went to grab her jacket.  She hated leaving the house with damp hair but it would have taken too long to blow dry it, and she had wasted too much time watching the TV.  Walking into her hall she noticed her jacket wasn’t there, then remembered that she hadn’t retrieved back from Sarah the day before.  Deciding to go out, sans jacket, she left the house.

 

*******

 

  Reaching the top step of the third floor, she waved up at the security camera before swiping her card through the machine to let her in.  She walked straight to her office but was stopped before she could make it there.

Graham Adams stood at the cross of the corridors. 

 

“Ah Miss Taylor, how was your first day with the patients?”

 

She smiled politely and walked over to him, not really wanting him to be the first person she would have to speak to in the morning.

 

“It was fine, Mr Adams.”

 

“Oh Graham please.  I hear your visit with Miss Austin didn’t go too well.  I am not surprised I have been keeping an eye on her for a long time.  It does appear that her problem is some form of social phobia.”

 

Charlie frowned, “How do you know the outcome of my visit with Sarah Austin?” she asked.

 

“Oh one of the guards told me, you know they do have visual access to every room.”

 

How could I forget, and just exactly how much visual access to they use, she wondered.

 

“I really wouldn’t hold too much hope with that one Charlene, she has no interest in functioning within the normal world.  That young girl seems to be too happy the way she is.  I tried to get her to open up for a long time but it was a hopeless case, she is a hopeless case.  There are just some people who you will never get through to, my suggestion is that you use your time in helping those who are worth it.”  He brushed an imaginary piece of flint from his arm and readjusted his black double-breasted suit jacket.

 

Charlie felt her anger rise, and holding it back was increasingly difficult to do.  She repeated to herself that she had a job to do, before taking a deep breath and speaking.

 

“Mr Adams with all respect, you are wrong.  That woman isn’t happy, she is just too afraid to confront that which is forcing her into the situation that she is presently in.  I don’t believe my helping her is a waste of time.”

 

The director crossed his arms, “So she has told you her problem?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then how can you make assumptions about a persons mental state, especially when you haven’t even gotten to know her?”

 

The tall woman looked disbelievingly at the thin man, “And how can you make assumptions about my ability to help her after just one session?  Especially when that session followed so closely on the heels of an extremely traumatic night being strapped to her bed.”  Charlie felt her anger rising rapidly, and made a conscious effort to bring it under control.  “Mr. Adams, this is my job.  This is what I was hired to do, and it’s what I do best.  Sometimes what a person doesn’t say is louder than what they do.  I am sure I already have an idea as to what her problem is, all I need is a little time to confirm it.”  Charlie began to back away.  “Now, if you will excuse me, I have a patient to see at half past nine, and I need to read over their file first.”

 

She said her goodbyes and left the director standing in the hallway wondering what he had said that had obviously annoyed the woman.  She wasn’t going to be easy to ask out for a drink, if she kept flaring up for no apparent reason.

 

*******

 

  The morning wasn’t going that bad at all.  Charlie had seen two more residents and had arranged her first group meeting with the out patients.  She looked at the clock, it had just gone half past twelve.  Deciding to eat she left her office for the cafeteria.  As she walked down the hall, she saw a nurse pushing the residents lunches to the rooms of those who refused to eat with the rest of the patients.  She noticed her stop outside Sarah’s room.  Charlie ran up to stop the nurse before she entered; it was Abigail.

 

“Hey wait.” She called.

 

Abby turned around to see who was shouting her.

 

“Oh hi Charlie, what is it?”

 

“Is she your last stop?” the tall woman asked.

 

The young nurse frowned, “Err well yes it is, Only Sarah and Jordan eat in their rooms and he had decided not to eat today.  Can you believe he said the bread looked like the baker had dirty hands, he refused to take it.”

 

Charlie looked down at the trolley holding two plates of sandwiches, one glass of milk and two apples.  She had an idea.

 

“Hey tell you what, why don’t I take this into Miss Austin, I can try get her to open up while we share a ‘lovely’ lunch.  What is in these sandwiches by the way?”

 

Abby shrugged her shoulders, “God only knows.  Are you sure you want to eat that?” She pointed one short, though heavily polished nail down at the food in question.

 

“Sure.” Charlie replied taking the trolley off the woman before knocking on the door, she heard a quiet yes and proceeded to let herself in.

 

Sarah lay on her stomach reading a book of poetry that Clinton had not long brought in for her.  Mel had brought it in that morning and had given it to the male nurse in the car park. 

 

She was enjoying the book, as it contained many of the greats, including one of her favourite poets.  Hearing the knock at the door she thought it would be Nurse Abby.  The woman usually walked in, put her food on the bedside table and left.  She didn’t even raise her head when the door opened.

 

“Do you fancy some company?”

 

Sarah looked up startled to see the woman she had been thinking about all morning, standing with her arms leaning forward on the lunch trolley. 

 

Charlie observed Sarah’s confused expression; “I just wanted to know whether you wanted to eat with me as I just nabbed the other lunch on here.  If you don’t then I will have to go back to my office, alone, and eat it all by myself…alone.”  Charlie stressed the word ‘alone’, hoping to play on the young woman’s sympathies.

 

 

Sarah rose from the bed, putting her book on the bedside table, “I don’t mind.” She stated quietly.

 

Charlie smiled and pushed the trolley further into the room, shutting the door behind her.  She noticed that the young woman was wearing the same clothes that she had on the day before, and realised she probably didn’t have a huge selection of her own clothes.

 

“So where do you usually eat?” she asked

 

Sarah pointed to the bed, “Usually there.”

 

Charlie picked up one of the plates, placing the apple on it and handed it to her with the glass of milk.  She then picked up her own and followed the girl to the bed, both sitting cross-legged at opposite ends. 

 

“It seems I should have brought a drink.” She stated.

 

The petite woman looked up concerned, “Do you like milk?” she asked

 

Charlie shrugged her shoulders, “Sure,” she stated.

 

“Well…you can…have some of mine if you want to.”

 

The tall woman smiled at the girl, “Thanks that would be great.”  She noticed a slight upturn on younger woman’s lips before she lowered her head to eat.

 

Charlie lifted up her lunch trying to discover what was actually in the sandwich.  Sarah watched as the woman brought the plate to her face and lifted the bread up, taking a cautious look inside.

 

“Thursday means it is cheese spread and salad sandwiches.”

 

Charlie looked up at the girl and grinned, “Just checking.”  She said before taking a healthy bite of her impromptu lunch.

 

The rest of the meal was held in silence.  The nurse sat pondering what the rest of her day entailed and realised it came up pretty empty.  She only had one other patient to see and that was Sarah.  For the rest of the day she considered, she could do more patient background checks.

 

The green-eyed blonde was doing her own amount of thinking.  She realised it was the first time since she had been on the thirds that she had actually eaten a meal in somebody else’s company.  Looking across to the woman in front of her she decided that the red of her t-shirt really brought out the darkness of Charlie’s hair. 

 

Feeling eyes upon her, Charlie looked up to see two green orbs staring at her with wonder.  When Sarah realised she had been caught, she blushed and lowered her head.  The blue-eyed woman smiled.

 

“I was thinking about what you said all night.”

 

Charlie looked at the top of the blonde head, “Which bit?”

 

Sarah twisted slightly to put her empty plate on the bedside table.  She took a drink of her milk then offered her glass to the older woman.  It was accepted with a smile of thanks.

 

“About what you said about me being happy.  I want to be happy, I mean it has got to be better than feeling like this, right?”

 

Charlie took a drink of the milk and handed the glass back, “In my opinion it’s one of the best feelings in the world.” She stated.

 

Sarah lifted her head, “What feelings make you happy?” She asked, almost in wonder.

 

“Oh that’s a tough one, there are so many, let me think…well, laughing makes you happy, and err…”

 

“Doing something for somebody else.”  Sarah interjected.

 

Charlie smiled, “Yep, and love, that brings out a lot of good feelings inside a person.”

 

The smaller woman nodded her head, “ I know the only way for me be happy is if I tell you what it is that is bothering me.  I don’t know whether I can…I…I… it’s almost like the words are afraid to come.”

 

The nurse nodded, “You’re afraid because you would have to face what it is.”

 

The girl nodded and shifted her back against the wall.  There was a sudden tremor in the bed as she jumped and hissed in pain.  Charlie flew over, kneeling in front the young woman with a look of concern clouding her features.

 

“Hey what was that?”

 

“Nothing,” was the reply.

 

“Oh come on Sarah, that was no nothing.  Bend forward.”

 

All Sarah could do was comply, as she moved forward putting her head against the woman’s shoulder.  Charlie gently pulled up the back of the girls’ sweater and frowned.  On Sarah’s back was a large bruise about the size of her hand.  She pushed the garment back down and knelt to look into her eyes.

 

“Sarah how did this happen?”

 

Sarah shrugged her shoulders and looked down at the bed, “I…I don’t know, it must had happened in my sleep or something.”  She looked back up at the older woman, knowing she wouldn’t believe it, but would not question her at that moment.

 

Charlie sighed and looked into the green eyes, they seemed so familiar to her.  She wondered why she felt the deep-seated need to protect her, and whisk her away from this God-awful place. 

 

Instead she nodded her head in acceptance to the reply she was given.  She sensed the body in front of her instantly relax.

 

Looking at the clock on the wall it was now one o’clock. 

 

“Well the clock tells me this is the time I really was supposed to come in here and bug you.” She joked,  “How do you feel, I have some ideas I would like to try out.  You don’t have to tell me what your problem is though.”

 

Charlie looked at the young woman and waited, she received a slight nod in reply.

 

“Great this is all I want you to do today.”

 

She got off the bed and walked towards the window, Sarah felt her heart rate increase.

 

“Come and stand here with me.”

 

Sarah paused, then rose to her feet but froze. “I can’t.” she replied.

 

Charlie looked intently at her, “I believe you can Sarah, and I will be here with you all the way.”

 

The young woman closed her eyes feeling her heart pound and breathing escalate.  She wanted the woman to leave; she didn’t want her to see her like this.

 

Suddenly she felt a warm hand encompass her own.  Opening her eyes, she looked up at the woman.  Calmness enveloped her but the frantic beating of her heart persisted.

 

“How do you know?” she questioned.

 

Charlie arched an eyebrow, “I’m not completely sure, I’m just going by instinct.  Do you trust me?”

 

Something inside told her she was the only one she could trust, she nodded her head faintly.

 

The nurse grinned, “Good then just walk with me to the window, and together we will open the curtains.  I will be with you the whole time.”

 

She could feel the hand in hers tremble, so she squeezed it with reassuring pressure and led her over to the closed curtains. 

 

Once there, she felt the body tremble and a slight whimper escape soft pink lips.  “We will do this together ok?”

 

Sarah’s breathing was shallow and she looked at the woman with tangible fear.

 

Feeling the need to reassure her, Charlie moved behind the young woman and put her arms around her, “Together.” She whispered into her ear.

 

Moving her right hand down she captured the smaller one and moved it up to the curtains.  There was slight resistance but she continued and together they pulled open the curtains. 

 

Nothing but the sound of rapid breathing could be heard.  Charlie moved her head to look into the face so close to hers, and found the eyes tight shut.

 

“Open your eyes!” she said gently

 

“I can’t.”

 

“You can Sarah, I believe you can, please?”

 

The smaller woman took a visible deep, shaky breath and held on tighter to the arms around her, slowly she opened her eyes. 

 

“Isn’t it beautiful?”

 

Sarah felt the warm breath of the voice right beside her ear, and all she could do was nod.  The sight was beautiful, she realised.  Straight out in front of her were miles of countryside.  Different shades of green and yellow. 

 

To her right she could make out the beginnings of the city and to her left she could see what she presumed was the motorway.  She focussed her eyes straight ahead, looking at the tiny specs of farm animals in the distant fields.

 

Slowly her heartbeat began to calm as she relaxed.  She took a slow breath and leaned into the woman behind her.  Charlie felt the change in the young woman and relaxed, she was almost as nervous as Sarah, but as she felt the body in her arms ease, so did she.

 

 It was the first time is as long as she could remember, that she had looked out of a window.  The frightening thoughts of why she stayed away from the outside world tried to make way to present mind, but she fought back; the presence of the woman behind her helping her to do so.  The feeling was just too interesting…no she thought; it was more than that it was good. 

 

Realisation flooded her and she became aware of the body pressed up behind her.  She could feel Charlie’s breasts push lightly into her back.  Her soft arms upon her own and the length of the long body flush against her back.  Clearing her mind she sunk into the feeling.  It wasn’t that this was the first contact she’d had in a long time (although it was) it was the fact that it felt so right.

 

The woman behind felt the smaller body soften and she smiled, “Amazing isn’t it?”

 

Sarah sighed, “It sure is.”

 

Charlie grinned but it quickly faded.  She suddenly became aware of a tingling sensation in her stomach and it was moving southward. 

 

Abruptly she pulled away, knowing she needed to break the contact.  The movement jolted Sarah, and when she realised she was no longer in Charlie’s protective arms she jumped away from the window swiftly.

 

Charlie guiltily looked down at her betraying body then back up at the young woman who stood by the wall, away from the window.

 

“God I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you like that.” she looked down at her hands. CRAP.  “I just thought you should try it yourself. I guess I wasn’t thinking.

 

Sarah nodded her head, “Ok… I’ve had enough now for today anyway.”

 

Charlie looked down at her hands again before moving her vision back to the worried looking blonde.

 

“Right…well I guess I will see you on Saturday unless there is anything else you want to talk about or you want to try this again tomorrow?”

 

“Saturday is fine.” The blonde stated and watched as the woman made her way to the door.  She let her self out, giving the girl a brief smile before shutting it behind her.

 

Sarah dropped her face into her hands and sighed, slowly she slid down the wall.  Great she noticed how my stupid body reacted to the way she held me and she was disgusted.  Now she hates me, god maybe I do belong to stay in a place like this. 

 

She dropped her head back against the wall with a thump.  No I have to do this, maybe she did really just want to get me to stand there on my own… yea right.  Oh who cares I have to do this.

 

Taking several deep breaths she rose to her feet and edged her way towards the window.

 

*******

 

 The moon shone through the window of Charlie’ front room.  She lay looking aimlessly at the blank screen of the TV.  She hadn’t turned it on, and couldn’t even be bothered to do so.  Her body was slumped on the sofa, one leg up over the armrest, and her head on the other. 

 

In her hand she still held her backpack that she hadn’t even let go since she entered the house about forty minutes before.  There was stillness in the air that the nurse hoped would send her into a dreamless sleep; she was exhausted.

 

The rest of the day had passed in a haze, the feelings of guilt she held keeping her from concentrating on anything.  Finally by the time she was ready to go home, she had convinced herself that she’d overreacted completely to the whole situation, and had built it up into something it wasn’t. 

 

But now she sat at home wondering whether she frightened or offended Sarah with her sudden change in behaviour and expeditious departure.  The young woman did look kind of confused.  Oh shit, talk about over reacting; I probably imagined the entire thing because it has been so long since I have had that kind of contact with a woman. 

 

Charlie’s last relationship had been in med school, with the woman she was sure accused her of cheating.  The nurse believed she had maliciously reported her to the medical board, because she had broke up with the woman to concentrate on her studies.  After that incident she had sworn off getting involved with anybody else for life, besides in her line of work, the less private life you had the better.  She would admit that occasionally she did miss the physical side and thought maybe that was what her body had reacted to.  Deciding that all she need was a cold shower, she drug herself up of the sofa and towards the bathroom. 

 

*******

 

  Mark Stevens sat in a deserted corner of some back street pub, which he’d already forgotten the name of.  The atmosphere was quiet and smoky making him feel completely alone, just how he wanted it.  His unruly dark hair hung over his face, covering the black patch that hid his still healing eye.  The ex-nurse cradled the beer he was drinking in both hands, not even remembering the seven he’d had before that one. 

 

Only one thing was on his mind, and that was retribution.  He was going to get back the bitch that had blinded him, and with every drink, he devised his plan in greater detail.  Soon he would put it into action and she would pay for what she had one to him, once and for all.

 

*******

 

  Friday was actually turning out to be quite a decent day.  Charlie had woken to the spring sun shining through the window, making her feel an inner peace.  Of course it could have also had something to do with the way she had finally managed to release her tension the night before.  Her cold shower had left her feeling a little too invigorated, so she had to resort to other methods.  Her mind had chosen to block out the image of the person who had finally sent her over the edge, so she had woken feeling calmer, yet none the wiser.

 

Charlie sat at her desk feeling the afternoon sun on her back, as she read through a file on one of her out patients.  Her long dark hair hung over broad shoulders, blending in with the black top and trousers she was wearing. 

 

Leaning back in her chair, she put down the folder and crossed her arms thinking about Bell Tower.  The hospital was not supposed to hold the criminally insane and she wondered how it came to be that two, obviously dangerous prisoners had been sent there.  Adams, she thought mentally rolling her eyes. 

 

There was a knock at her door and she turned to see the director walk in.

 

Think of the devil, she mused.

 

Something immediately caught her eye.  In the directors hand was her leather jacket.  She had completely forgotten about it, and knowing where she had left it she wondered why he had it. 

 

“Miss Taylor, I believe this is yours?”

Charlie rose from her seat and took the jacket from Adams, “Yes it is, why do you have it?”

 

“Unbelievable as it may seem, I found it in a patients room last night.  I recognised it immediately as yours and retrieved it, this is the first moment I’ve had to return it though I’m afraid.  Although stealing isn’t really something that happens here often, I can assure you the culprit will be dealt with accordingly.”

 

Charlie stared down at the black leather in her hands.  She was confused, what was he talking about stealing; it wasn’t stolen?

 

“Err Mr Adams, I put this jacket around Sarah Austin when I found her restrained to her bed the other day.” She couldn’t keep the anger from leaving her voice; but the director didn’t seem to notice.

 

Adams rubbed his chin, “And why does she still have it then?”

 

The tall woman mentally rolled her eyes, “Because I forgot to pick it up again, that’s all.  She did not steal it…” pausing she remembered something he had said earlier.  “Hold on what do you mean, the culprit will be dealt with accordingly?”

 

Adams shrugged his shoulders, “Well as you know, if you do wrong you must be punished.  When I found the jacket I believed it had been stolen and had to act accordingly.” He appeared so blasé.

 

The hands holding the jacket, tightened forcefully, “What did you do to her?”

 

“Well obviously segregation would be the best form of punishment, but being as though she does that willingly herself, I stopped her meals for the day.”

 

“WHAT…” realising she was shouting, she lowered her vice, “Didn’t she tell you I lent it to her?”

 

“She didn’t say a thing, and you should know lending patients your own belongings is not allowed Miss Taylor, I would like you to remember that in future.  There are rules to maintain after all.”

 

Charlie knew she was beginning to loose it, “This is a fucking HOSPITAL isn’t it? You know, where we help people get well.  Since when is STOPPING a patient’s food become common practice.  And I didn’t lend my jacket to her, I covered her with it when I found her almost naked and restrained to her FUCKING BED.”

 

“Now Miss Taylor, I can understand you getting a little angry, but…”

 

Their ‘discussion’ was broken when Dale, one of the security guards burst into the room.  His face was angry, and he held his baton within his right hand.

 

“Sir, Angel is causing a commotion, says she wants to see the new Psychologist.”

 

Now that Charlie’s door was open they could hear the screams coming from the secure patients corridor. 

 

“Great…come on Miss Taylor, follow me.”

 

Confused, Charlie dropped her jacket on the desk and did as she was asked, following the director to Angle’s room.  She didn’t think she was to see the two prisoners on this floor so she wondered why one of them wanted to see her.

 

The definite sounds of a raised female voice got louder, the closer they got to Angels room.  Dale number 1, stood by the open door, baton in hand and his other raised in front of him.  They couldn’t hear what he was saying as his appeared to be talking in hushed tones.

 

Finally they arrived, Charlie behind Dale 2 and the director.  She held back purposely wanting more information, before she made her presence known.

 

Adams moved to stand beside Dale 1, “All right Angel, what is it this time?”

 

“I heard there was a new psychologist and I want to see her.”  The voice demanded.

 

Adams shook his head, “Angel, why on earth do you want to see her, you have your own little shrink.  Stop making a fuss and start behaving. Otherwise you will be punished.”

 

A cackling laugh sounded, echoing off the walls of the corridor,

 

“PUNISHED, do you really think I give a fuck what you people do to me.  I just want to see what the new…” her words were cut short as Charlie came into view. 

 

A wide toothy smile spread upon the prisoners face, and Adams looked around to see why she was smiling.  He frowned disapprovingly upon seeing Charlie; he didn’t want Angel to think she could get her own way.

 

“Well aren’t you the pretty one.”  The prisoner began, “My, my, I wasn’t told the newbie was such a beauty.  I think I may have to change my shrinks. Tell me are you into those one to one, touchy feely, patient type bonding sessions?”

 

Charlie looked deeply into the woman’s wild, brown eyes, but didn’t reply.

 

“Cat got your tongue…shame I can think of a few things I would like you to do with it.”

 

“That’s it,” Adams shouted, “You have seen her, now why don’t we all just calm down and get back to normal?”  He looked to the two Dales and motioned his head towards the Angel.

 

Charlie took a few steps back as the guards rushed in, grabbing the prisoner, as a nurse arrived ready to tranquillise her.  Angel’s laughs continued as she was restrained and the needle punctured her skin. 

 

The director took Charlie’s elbow and ushered her away and along the corridor.

 

“Well that was a more pleasant encounter than some we’ve had.” He stated.

 

The tall nurse frowned, “Is she usually tranquillised?”

 

The director nodded, “Yes, it seems to be the only way to control her violent outbreaks.  That woman is a bad egg, from the day she born.  It is probably genetic I would think.”

 

Charlie didn’t reply but continued to ponder the situation.  Suddenly she looked at her watch, it was ten to three.  Remembering she had an out patient group meeting in ten minutes she told Adams as much and raced off to get herself together.  

 She had just enough time to run down to the canteen and pick up some food.

 

Five minutes later she was back on the third floor and knocking on Sarah’s door.  There was no reply, but she let herself in anyway knowing there was no other place the girl could be. 

 

When she walked into the room she found her fast asleep on top of the bed.  She lay on her stomach, with her arms up and bent by her head.  Walking silently in, she placed the plate of food and glass of water on the bedside table. 

 

Charlie looked at the young woman and couldn’t resist the temptation to move the strands of hair that had fallen over the side of her face.  The feel of the strands were so soft between to tips of her fingers, and her skin felt so soft.  Charlie didn’t resist the urge to graze her fingers once again over the incredibly smooth skin.  The tips of her fingers burned at the touch. 

 

Feeling a tickling sensation, Sarah was roused from her sleep to see a tall figure looming over her.  Instantly she jumped up and moved away from the bed, before realising who is was.

 

Charlie held up her hands, “Easy…easy, it’s just me.”

 

Sarah took in an audible sigh, “You…sc…scared me.”

 

Charlie dropped one hand and used the other to push strands of her own hair behind her left ear, “Sorry.”

 

Sarah wondered why the woman was here, and then looked down at the plate she could see from the corner of her eye.  Her stomach rumbled in need.

 

 Charlie smiled, but it soon faded.

 

“Sarah, I’m sorry about what Mr Adams did, I forgot all about my jacket; this shouldn’t have happened.”

 

The young woman shrugged her shoulders, “It’s ok, Mr Adams tries to find any excuse to punish me lately.”

 

“Why?” Charlie asked.

 

Sarah shrugged her shoulders again and looked down at the food, “Can I?”

 

Charlie nodded and watched as the girl timidly picked up the plate and started eating.  She looked at the clock and realised it was one minute to three. 

 

“Listen I have to go, but I will see you tomorrow alright.”

 

Sarah nodded her head, mouth too full to speak.  Charlie grinned at the girl and realised she wanted nothing more than to stay with her.  Mentally scolding herself for her laps in professional detachment, again, she walked out of the room.  Shutting the door behind her, she cringed as it mechanically locked itself.

 

*******

 

  Saturday morning, Sarah always used to love Saturdays.  Getting to lie in bed until noon, before her mother would call her down to get her lazy backside into gear.  She was joking of course, and thinking back, it always made her smile remembering the times she had with her parents. 

 

That was before her fear and shame made her turn away from them.  Before the doctors had sent her to Bell Tower and before they had given up, believing she wanted nothing to do with them. 

 

It hurt her to know that they had turned away from her, even though she knew she had ignored them first.  Half of her wanted to cry out to them, letting them know the reasons why, yet the other half of her was afraid.  She was ashamed of what happened and didn’t want anybody to know.  She felt in the centre of a vicious circle with no way out.

 

Sarah looked at the clothes she intended on wearing today.  Her choice was limited to what she was given and today she had chosen to wear black mid-thigh length shorts and a short, orange tank top.  She was proud of her body and didn’t mind showing it off, especially considering a certain psychologist was coming to see her.  She tried not to dwell on that thought too much though, knowing it was fruitless.  Though she did believe that Charlie’s actions the day before had proved to her that there was no problem about what had happened at the window, and acting like nothing had happened was probably the best idea.

 

Once she was dressed she commenced the usual work out that she did every morning.  She tried to use her body weight as much as possible in her exercise, to increase muscle gain. 

 

Before she was sent to Bell Tower, she had never been much for over exertion, now she loved the adrenalin rush it gave her.  Well that and the body.  Starting with press-ups she began her usual work out.

 

*******

 

  Looking up at Bell Tower, Charlie wondered what the castle used to be.  She had been told that it was donated to the community when the last owner had died and the people had been less than pleased when they found out what it was to become. 

 

It was old that she was sure of. 

 

She could just see that the very top tower window was stained glass, though she couldn’t tell what the picture was.  She could imagine it being occupied by some crazed scientist, working on freaky experiments in the dead of night.  Laughing at her own crazed imagination that seemed on overdrive every time she thought about Bell Tower, she shook her head and made her way into the building.

 

Today was to be an easy, half day.  Sarah was the only patient she had to see, so she intended on actually devoting some time to the girl.  So far all other sessions had been cut short, and Charlie hoped Sarah was ready to try something longer.  As she arose from bed at five, that morning she had come to an immediate decision; Sarah didn’t belong there and she was going to help her, even if they had to fight every step of the way.

 

Taking the stairs three at a time, her long legs carried Charlie to the third floor in no time.  She knew Clinton and Abby were not working this morning but hadn’t been told who would. 

 

Arriving at her office she dropped her backpack and shopping bag on one of the sofas.  She had brought her own lunch in today, with hopes that she could lure Sarah out to eat with her.  Whatever was holding the young woman back; she was determined to stop it.  Realising she had nothing else to do, she left to go and see Sarah.

 

  *******

 

“Seventy one, seventy two, seventy three, seventy four…”

 

Sarah paused mid air as she heard a knock on her room door.  Thinking it was her breakfast, as it was only half past eight, she yelled for the nurse to enter, (in doing so informing who ever it was that she was decently dressed) and carried on with her press-ups.

 

Charlie entered the room and froze.

 

“Seventy five, seventy six, seventy seven.”

 

She saw Sarah sprawled above the floor in the midst of her work out.  She couldn’t help but notice the fine layer of sweat that covered her body, or the straining muscles in her arms and back.  Wordlessly she stood by the door.

 

“Seventy eight, seventy nine…s…”

 

Realising somebody was standing at her door she stopped, letting her knees fall to the ground.  Lifting her head she spotted a pair of brown boots, followed by a pair of faded blue jeans, in which were tucked a white top.  Long black hair fanned around the shoulders and she didn’t have to think twice about who it was. 

 

Lifting to her feet she looked at the woman and gave a sheepish smile, before lowering her head. 

 

Charlie, realising she had yet to breath she decided now might be a good time.  Blinking her eyes, she pulled air into her lungs and looked at the suddenly shy girl before her.  She had to admit, the young woman had a beautiful body.  It was compact and toned, giving her a very athletic appearance.  She hadn’t noticed it the last time she had seen Sarah without clothes but then again she had far more important things on her mind. 

 

Charlie cleared her throat,

 

“Ahem, err…if I am too early I can come back later.”

 

Sarah looked up at the woman and noticed the odd look in her eyes.

 

“No that’s all right, I thought it was breakfast, that’s all.”

 

Just then a butch looking woman with dark red hair and an obvious faux tan, walked into the room.

 

“Hi Sarah, I have brought your breakfast.”  She placed it down and looked over to Charlie, a sudden smile forming on her lips, “And you must be Miss Taylor the new psychologist?” she held out a hand, “I’m Laura, and I am very pleased to finally meet you.  I’ve heard so much about you and I have to say, none of it is exaggerated.”

 

Charlie smiled uncomfortably and looked to Sarah.

 

“Tell you what, I’ll come back in about half an hour when you have finished eating ok?” and with one last look, she was gone.

 

Sarah stood silently as she watched the both nurses exit with an unusual feeling in her gut.  That woman had flirted with Charlie, she noticed it straight away, but what she didn’t understand was why the gnawing anger in her stomach because of it.  Confused she sat down to eat her breakfast; well at least Nurse Taylor seemed a little uncomfortable anyway. 

 

Charlie made a swift exit from the woman who was attempting to ask her out, with an excuse about needing to make an urgent phone call.  She retired to the safety of her office and closed the door. 

 

Sitting at her desk images of Sarah crept into her mind.  Jesus get a grip Charlie, she is a patient for gods sake. 

 

Growling at her lack of control she jumped up and dove into her mail, hoping the time would pass quickly.

 

Half an hour seemed like an eternity and when if finally did come around she left her office before another second had the opportunity to pass. 

 

She knocked and let herself into Sarah’s room.  The girl sat cross-legged on her bed reading the book Mel had sent up to her.  She looked up at the nurse and put down the book, a sudden nervous feeling in her stomach.  Charlie smiled, closed the door, and walked over to her,

 

“Mind if I?” she gestured towards the bed.

 

Sarah nodded, and the tall woman sat down.

 

 They were silent as Charlie watched the girl, look anywhere but at her. 

 

“How are you today Sarah?”

 

The young woman looked up at the dark nurse and felt tears begin to sting the back of her eyes.

 

Noticing the look on the young girl’s face, Charlie was quick to act.  Moving a little closer, but still trying to keep an acceptable distance, she looked deep into the sentient green eyes, “Hey what’s wrong?”

 

Sarah looked down but her chin was caught by two strong fingers and lifted.

 

“I’m afraid…I know I could keep putting this off like I have done so many times over the years, but I can’t.  What you said keeps playing over in my mind and I realised that I do want to be happy.  I want you to help me but I’m afraid I will have to face it.”

 

“But you won’t be facing it Sarah.”

 

The petite blonde looked at the taller woman confused, a tear finally making its way down her cheek.

 

“Because we are going to face it; together.”

 

Tears threatened to fall harder now and Sarah fought back the only way she could, with anger.

 

“Why do you care anyway?” she shouted diving off the bed, “There are other people in here who need your help, go and help them.  All you people think you can control my life well you can’t, maybe I am happy to stay like this after all.  Why should it bother you how a worthless good for nothing feels? I don’t care what…” realising what she was saying she covered her face with both hands.  The tears flowed freely but she spoke anyway, “Oh I’m so sorry.”

 

Charlie was a little taken aback by the young woman’s outburst but quickly realised it was anger at her own situation.  She moved forward and wrapped her arms around the blonde. 

 

Her first instinct was to tell her that she did care, more than she should, but held back and just comforted the sobbing girl in her arms. 

 

Sarah pushed her arms around the woman holding her and buried her head under the strong chin.  As her tears lessened, she began to hear the woman’s beating heart.  It was a little fast and she wondered whether the tall woman was still cautious because of the way she had acted two days ago. 

 

Abruptly she pulled away and sat back down on the bed.  Charlie was startled by the sudden movement, but didn’t react visibly.  Instead she followed the girl back to the bed.

 

They sat side by side in silence both wanting to hear what the other had to say first.  Charlie looked at the young woman through the corner of her eye.  She knew she had to speak, and realised that maybe just getting to know each other would be a fine way to make them both feel at ease.

 

“Do you want to hear a funny story?”

 

Sarah immediately looked up with interest, “Sure.”

 

Charlie grinned, “Great let me tell you about the time I decided to move away from home at eight years old.”

 

Sarah sat listening to Charlie’s story smiling slightly.  She listened on how a young Charlie had pitched a tent in her mothers garden intent on moving out after she had been told she wasn’t allowed to go the a local football match, with the older boys. 

 

She couldn’t help but laugh as Charlie described how she had stubbornly stayed out all day thinking her mother would be heart broken.  By night time she had decided to move back home explaining to her mother that she didn’t want to leave her all alone.  But really it was because she was sick of eating blackberries from the garden all day, as she had forgotten to take any other food with her when she left. 

 

Listening to Sarah chuckle Charlie realised that it was the most beautiful sound in the world and she would do anything to hear it every day.

 

“So you were a bit of a hell raiser as a child?” The young woman asked.

 

Charlie grinned, “Ha, I was your average tom boy, I used to beat up the bullies and steal their money.”

 

“Like Robin Hood?”

 

Charlie laughed at that, “No I’m afraid not, I used to keep the money and spend it on chocolate.”

 

Sarah dropped her head in her hands laughing, and the tall woman instantly missed the smile that accompanied it.

 

“Right now it is your turn.”

 

Sarah looked up suddenly, “What?”

 

“You know tit for tat, quid pro quo.”

 

Sarah sighed, “I…don’t have any funny stories, I can’t remember them if there are any.”

 

Charlie decided to take a leap, “Well is there anything else you want to tell me?”

 

The young woman pursed her lips, “Like what?”

 

“I really am not going to push you Sarah, I just want you to trust me, and know that you can tell me anything.”

 

The girl looked away, “Do you want to see something?” she asked.

 

“Sure”

 

Slowly she stood up and walked to the partially open curtains.  She hesitated briefly before pulling them all the way open and standing by the window. 

 

Charlie couldn’t contain the smile that spread across her lips.

 

“I’m so proud of you Sarah, I know that was difficult for you, but just think, if you can do this, what else you could do.”

 

Feeling self conscious, the girl turned towards the window looking out at the early morning dew, still clinging to the bushes near the hospital. 

 

“I had forgot how beautiful the world was in the morning.  Seeing the first rays of sun, light up the sky, and how it creates exquisite looking shapes in the clouds.  When I was younger, I used to think that clouds were kingdoms of the Gods. They would move over the land watching over us mere mortals.”  She smiled in spite of her self.

 

“It’s an interesting thought.” Charlie replied.  “When I was little I used to think stars were actually holes in the sky, that were there to let water through when it rained.”

 

Sarah looked back at the woman with a frown, “So did I,” she stated.

 

Charlie grinned, “Well you know what they say, ‘great minds think alike’”

 

The blonde smiled, “Maybe so.”

 

Silence returned again, so Charlie moved to stand behind the girl by the window.  Sarah could feel the heat moving off the woman in waves.

 

“Sarah? ...Tell me why.”

 

The young woman closed her eyes and trembled.

 

“Please?” Was whispered gently by her right ear.  “Let me help make this all go away.” 

 

“Can you?” was the timid response.

 

“I want to.” Was all Charlie could reply.

 

Sarah put her arms around her body hugging herself tightly.  She knew it was now or never, so with a trembling voice she began.

 

“ I was always shy at school, but desperately wanted to fit in with the other girls.  It never felt right though, they were always interested in clothes and boys and I never saw the big attraction.”

 

She paused wondering whether Charlie understood what she meant. 

 

“Anyway while at college I became friends with this girl, who introduced me to her friends.  They seemed to accept me willingly and so I naturally thought I had found new friends.  They were into partying, drugs and things like that.  I knew my parents would be annoyed with me for my choice in friends, but I thought I knew best, you know I was nineteen after all.”

 

 She laughed at her own naivety and felt Charlie’s hand rest on her shoulder, giving her the courage to continue. 

 

“I just wanted to fit in as best I could so I got involved with the partying although I promise I never did any drugs, not even I was that stupid.  Anyway the girl I was friends with Tanya…she told me that her brother had a crush on me and asked me whether I wanted to go out on a date with him.  All the other girls had boyfriends so, naturally just wanting to fit in I agreed.” 

 

She stopped feeling a lump rise in her throat.

 

Charlie put both her hands on Sarah’s arms and squeezed gently, “Go on.” She coaxed, without though she let both her arms wrap around the younger woman’s small frame.

 

“He picked me up from home one night and took me out to the cinema.  We had a good time, I felt like he would make a decent friend even though I knew he wanted more.  Afterwards we went for a walk in the park.  He told me that he liked me and tried to kiss me.  I pushed him away, telling him I wasn’t interested in him in that way.  He decided not to take no for an answer.”

 

A strong tremor ran through Sarah’s body and Charlie held on tighter, willing her to continue. 

 

“I was so afraid by the sudden change in him that I froze.  I let him to what he wanted after it became clear that my pleas for him to stop were fruitless.  After he told me never to tell anyone.  He said that if he ever saw me around again he would tell everyone that I was a slut, that I was rubbish in…well you know.”

 

Charlie nodded her head.

 

“He said that I was a cheap dyke whore, and no one would ever want me. Then he left me there, beside a group of bushes.”

 

Charlie felt an anger in which she had never felt before, well inside of her.  She imagined this guy and what she wanted to do to him, but when Sarah started talking again, her anger left and she continued listening to the girl.

 

“I was so scared at what he had said, and so ashamed by what had happened that I ran home intent on never leaving again.  I locked myself away in my bedroom and didn’t come out for days and when I did come out of my room, I couldn’t wait to get back in.  Before long, I couldn’t come out of my room at all.  When I did, I felt sick…fearful.  I couldn’t even bear to look out my window, so I kept the shades closed.  My parents didn’t understand, but I couldn’t tell them what happened; I didn’t want them to think less of me.  I hated myself for what happened, and believed it was entirely my fault.  Do you know what the strange thing is?”

 

Charlie rubbed her arms once up and down you girls’ arms and felt Sarah loosen the grip on her self and sigh. “What?” she asked

 

“That now I feel so angry at him for making me feel all the things I did.  I can’t believe it has all lead to this, and that I am the one in this situation.  I let him beat me.” She said almost disbelievingly.

 

Charlie sighed pulling the young woman closer to her.  She could feel the tremors start in the body in front of her as tears began to trail down the girls face.

 

 Turning Sarah around, she pulled her into a comforting embrace and held on tightly.  She became aware of the feelings bubbling freely to her surface and tried desperately to ignore them.  She was beginning to feel more for the girl than she knew she should, but felt deep inside that she was powerless to stop the emotions.  All she had to do was control them so she wouldn’t scare the young blonde.

 

Sarah let go of her arms and held on to the dark woman, never had she felt so safe, and protected before.  Taking deep cleansing breaths she tried to calm herself.

 

“I don’t want to be afraid anymore Charlie, please help me?”

 

The woman held on to the girl and placed a kiss on her head, “I’ll do everything in my power to help you Sarah.”

 

Charlie stood holding the girl for as long as she could, but told herself she had to let go as soon as Sarah tried to move.  She breathed in deeply the scent of soap from the warm body within her arms. 

 

Thinking that it wasn’t right for her to be holding on to the nurse, Sarah reluctantly moved away from the embrace. 

 

“I haven’t been out in four years, but I want to now.  I just don’t think I am ready to go out there.” She pointed out to the front of the hospital.

 

Charlie thought for a while, “I have an idea… do you trust me?”

 

Sarah nodded her head, “I think you are the only one I do.” She stated emphatically.

 

Charlie paused and let the impact of those words sink though her.  “Ok…let me go and ask permission to do something then I will be right back, that all right?”

 

The blonde frowned, wondering what the tall woman had in mind, but nodded her head.

 

“Great see you in one minute.”

 

Charlie turned and swiped her card through the mechanism allowing her to exit the room.  She turned and ran to the guards’ room.

 

 Dale 1, had noticed the nurse sprint towards his room, and stood up wondering what was going on.  He had been watching her in Sarah Austin’s room but they had moved out of view when they stood at the window. 

 

Charlie entered the room to find the guard waiting for her,

 

“What can I do for you Miss Taylor?”

 

Charlie paused to look at the CCTV screens before speaking; she could see Sarah sitting on her bed, with a nervous look on her face. 

 

“Dale, this card allows me access to any part of the building right?”  She held up her ID card.

 

The guard nodded.

 

“So if I wanted to take a patient anywhere around here I could?”

 

Again the guard nodded, “Are you going to take Miss Austin out?” He asked almost disbelievingly.

 

Charlie smiled, “Sort of.  Thanks Dale.” And with that she was gone.

 

The security guard watched her run back up the corridor on the monitor.

 

Sarah heard the door click open and Charlie walk in.  The expression on the woman’s face was a mix of excitement and trepidation.

 

“You ready to come with me?”  She asked.

 

“Where are we going?”

 

The nurse smiled and took the young woman’s hand, “Trust me.” She stated.

 

End of Part 2                

continued in part 3

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